


| The Ashes: Kevin Pietersen the elephant in the room as England look to solve their top-order problems |
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No comeback: Andrew Strauss doesn't want KP in the picture. There is more chance of the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Pope having a night on the sauce and stumbling off the last Tube singing I've Got a Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts than KP taking on Australia's glut of Mitchell brothers - Grant, Phil and Billy - in this series.
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